


Further Pleasantries

by triste



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crack, Drabble Collection, Fluff, Genderswap, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Smut, UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-13
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-18 14:41:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 8,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/562174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/triste/pseuds/triste
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“In other words, it’s a size kink.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Theme #2: AU

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #2: AU

~~

He usually tends to be partnered with Aomine, so it’s a surprise when Kuroko discovers that he’ll be filming together with Murasakibara for the first time. 

“It’s simple,” Akashi explains, because everything they work on is, but then again, pornography generally isn’t known for being intellectually stimulating. “We need the smallest guy being fucked by the biggest cock. In other words, it’s a size kink.”

Which is why Kuroko goes over to greet his co-star before the cameras start to roll. “I look forward to working with you today, Murasakibara-kun,” he says, bowing politely (he never forgets his manners, even in an industry like the one he’s made his name in).

Murasakibara gives him a wave of acknowledgement. “Likewise,” he mumbles through a mouthful of potato chips.

He doesn’t seem interested in exchanging further pleasantries, so Kuroko leaves him alone with his snacks. There’s no need for him to take it personally, since Murasakibara always makes it clear that he prefers food over sex. Kuroko has heard him complaining about his job more than once, but he’s good at what he does, it’s easy money and there’s a demand for him, so he hasn’t bothered to quit yet.

Stripping out of his robe when Akashi calls for him to get in position (it’s not much use being body shy in their profession), Kuroko climbs onto the bed. Murasakibara follows shortly after, completely blasé as he strides naked over to where Kuroko is waiting. Kuroko has seen a lot of cocks throughout his career, but Murasakibara’s is the largest, and it makes Kuroko feel just a little apprehensive, because Akashi is a bastard and refuses to let him use enough lube. 

But it’s what the viewers want to see, according to Akashi, because that’s how they’re most partial when it comes to Kuroko, submissive, dominated and looking like he’s in pain, and since Akashi is the one in charge, Kuroko doesn’t really tend to get any say in the matter.

The cameras are right there in Kuroko’s face when he straddles Murasakibara’s hips, ready to capture his every expression, and in his ass, which Murasakibara takes hold of in his hands, spreading him open.

“Action!” says Akashi. 

Kuroko begins to lower himself onto Murasakibara’s cock, gritting his teeth and hissing softly, already feeling the slow burn of it.

“Sorry,” Murasakibara whispers into his ear, giving it a tiny kiss of apology.

Kuroko simply moans, aware that he needs to be vocal, and Akashi nods his approval from the director’s chair.

“Good, Tetsuya,” he praises. “And don’t forget to scream.”

He has to go slow, because he’s never been taken by anyone this huge before, and Kuroko’s whimpers are only half for show as he slides down, inch by inch, but Akashi doesn’t have the patience for that.

“You can handle the rest, Atsushi.”

With a single snap of his hips, Murasakibara drives his dick up the rest of the way inside Kuroko, and Kuroko’s eyes widen in shock (he’s gotten good at being able to cry on cue, but he’s not faking the way they water right now), remembering to do as he’s been told and letting out a wail.

“Don’t give him time to adjust,” Akashi advises, so Murasakibara starts fucking Kuroko in earnest, and all he can do is cling on as he bounces in Murasakibara’s lap, gasping and sobbing and whimpering.

Murasakibara’s palms are gentle on his back afterwards, when Kuroko slumps against him weakly, drained of all his strength, and it’s not in the script, but Murasakibara continues to display a characteristic lack of concern for his work.

“Good job, Kuro-chin,” he says lazily.

“Likewise,” Kuroko murmurs, hiding a tired smile.


	2. Theme #6: Fluff

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #6: Fluff

~~

It’s dark outside when Kuroko finds Murasakibara standing at the school entrance, and it’s pouring with rain. Murasakibara’s expression is glum, reluctant to leave his shelter and risk getting the bag of sweets tucked in the crook of his arm wet.

“Did you not bring an umbrella along today, Murasakibara-kun?” Kuroko asks.

“I forgot to check the weather forecast before I left,” Murasakibara replies, staring dolefully at the rain.

Because he’s polite, but also because he kind of feels sorry for Murasakibara while he’s looking this unhappy, Kuroko holds up his umbrella, a small, foldable one that he always carries around in his bag. “Would you like to share mine?” he offers.

Murasakibara’s face brightens. “Thanks, Kuro-chin, you’re a life saver.”

He doesn’t sound like he’s over exaggerating, but then Murasakibara really loves his snacks.

Opening the umbrella, Kuroko raises it above his head, motioning for Murasakibara to join him underneath. It’s a tight squeeze, and they have to walk closely together, shoulder to shoulder (or, considering the height difference between them, it’s more like shoulder to elbow).

Continuing to munch on his snacks contentedly, Murasakibara seems oblivious to Kuroko’s discomfort, not at their proximity, but at the way his arm starts to ache after holding up the umbrella so high for so long.

“I don’t think this is working,” he says finally.

Murasakibara stares down at him. “It’s because you’re too short,” he declares.

“No,” Kuroko counters, “it’s because you’re too tall. It would be better if you were the one holding the umbrella.”

“But I can’t do that and eat my sweets at the same time.” Murasakibara falls silent, searching for a possible solution, and then he smiles. “How’s this?” he suggests. “I’ll hold the umbrella and you’ll hold my sweets. Then you can feed me while we walk.”

Kuroko sighs. “I suppose it can’t be helped.”

They pause for a moment in order to switch items before setting off again, Kuroko reaching inside the bag and bringing one of the sweets inside to Murasakibara’s mouth, which Murasakibara happily accepts.

That’s when they bump into Kise, whose jaw drops in shock at what he sees.

“What are you two doing?” he cries. “Only lovey-dovey couples share the same umbrella!”

“That’s not true, Kise-kun,” says Kuroko mildly.

Murasakibara opens his mouth, impatient. “Kuro-chin, more sweets.”

“Ah!” Kise points a finger accusingly at him. “You didn’t deny it when I implied you were dating!”

Kuroko sighs.

Murasakibara pokes his cheek. “Kuro-chin~”

Kise looks like he’s been betrayed. “Kurokocchi~”

Suddenly, Kuroko is very tempted to just leave them both behind and go straight home.


	3. Theme #9: Smut

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #9: Smut

~~

Food and sex are not two things Kuroko would ever have thought to combine, but when Murasakibara holds up the chocolate body paint and looks at him so hopefully, it’s impossible to say no. 

“All right,” Kuroko relents. “But you’re doing the laundry afterwards.”

He soon regrets it, however, when Murasakibara pulls out another five tubs, and Kuroko wonders just how much sex he’s planning on having tonight, because when it comes to snacks and sweet things, Murasakibara can be kind of insatiable.

“Kuro-chin,” he urges, lining each tub in a row and popping off the lids, “get naked.”

“Don’t be so impatient,” Kuroko replies, unbuttoning his shirt at a leisurely pace that makes Murasakibara fidget restlessly on the mattress.

“But I want to find out how it tastes.”

“Like chocolate I would hope, unless there’s something very wrong with it.”

Kuroko isn’t that concerned about flavours and varieties, but Murasakibara enjoys testing anything and everything in order to catalogue it inside his exponentially growing mental encyclopaedia of snacks.

Besides, it’s hardly the most adventurous of kinks, and if anyone is likely get off on food play, it’s Murasakibara. It could be worse. At least Murasakibara isn’t wanting to takes videos with his cell phone.

When Kuroko is finally naked, he fluffs the pillows at the head of the bed and lies back, getting comfortable, because he’s guessing this might take a while. He’s right when Murasakibara, earlier haste forgotten, ums and ahs for the next ten minutes, his eyes darting from one part of Kuroko’s body to another.

“I’m trying to decide where to start first,” he explains, deep in thought.

“Does it matter?” Kuroko asks.

Apparently it does to Murasakibara, because he continues to mull over his options for a few seconds longer until, at long last, he scoops out a generous amount of chocolate with his fingers and smears it over Kuroko’s nipples.

“This is good,” Murasakibara says, admiring his handiwork, and then he lowers his head to the left, dragging his tongue over Kuroko’s left nipple, licks around it in a circular motion before sucking it into his mouth. “Very good,” he reiterates, moving over to give Kuroko’s other nipple the same treatment.

Kuroko is inclined to agree when Murasakibara tugs at his nipple with his teeth, a spike of sensation that stiffens his cock and takes his breath away, but he can only moan. Murasakibara’s gaze flickers up to Kuroko’s face, and he smiles beatifically. It makes Kuroko feel oddly fond when he’s looking at him like that, but he doesn’t have time to respond because Murasakibara has already picked out another spot that he intends to eat chocolate off, and Kuroko moans again at how Murasakibara’s greedy tongue feels against his bellybutton.

It rapidly becomes apparent that he’s finding this far more erotic than Murasakibara is, and Kuroko sighs in resignation.

“Murasakibara-kun,” he says dryly, “something tells me you’re enjoying the chocolate more than the foreplay.”

“That’s not true,” Murasakibara protests. “The chocolate is amazing, and the sex is a nice bonus.”

“Shouldn’t it be the other way around?”

Murasakibara looks confused.

There won’t be any progress like this, because Kuroko knows Murasakibara could quite happily continue eating chocolate off his body for hours on end and still not get round to the part where they’re supposed to make love, so Kuroko pushes himself into a sitting position, paying Murasakibara’s pout of indignation no mind.

“Leave this to me.”

And with that, Kuroko slathers Murasakibara’s cock with chocolate, settles between his legs and opens his mouth.

“Kuro-chin, you’re a genius,” Murasakibara tells him, but Kuroko doesn’t bother to savour the compliment, not that it’s much of one, and licks a long, wet stripe from Murasakibara’s balls to the tip of his cock, sucking it in between his lips and hums softly around it.

Murasakibara rests a hand on the back of Kuroko’s head, just toying with his hair, not pushing him further down, which is good because he’s far too big for Kuroko to take in entirely, but he manages as much as he can, ignoring the ache in his jaw and uses his hands for the rest. He can taste Murasakibara underneath the sweetness of the chocolate, breathes in the thick, musky scent of him through his nose, hollowing his cheeks and sucking harder until the taste of something altogether different hits the back of his throat, and Kuroko swallows it down, slides off Murasakibara with a wet pop and wipes the back of his mouth.

“Do that again,” Murasakibara urges, staring at Kuroko like he’s the most amazing thing to step into his life.

“You need to be hard first,” Kuroko replies. “And please stop being so selfish. I still haven’t had my turn yet.”

So, Murasakibara lifts Kuroko so that he’s straddling his face, cock nudging against his lips, which makes Murasakibara smiles once more, reaching for the chocolate, and says, “In that case, allow me to return the favour.”


	4. Theme #10: UST

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #10: UST

~~

When Murasakibara has a question, he can typically rely on Akashi to provide him with an answer.

“Cannibalism is a bad thing, right?” he asks, eyes fixed on Kuroko as he helps Midorima clear the court after practise.

“From a socially acceptable standpoint?” says Akashi, not even looking up from his clipboard. “Generally speaking, yes.”

It’s not as if Murasakibara means what he’s saying, which is probably for the best, since Akashi isn’t bothering to take him seriously. 

“You see,” Murasakibara continues, “it’s just that Kuro-chin seems so delicious lately. It makes me feel like I want to eat him all up, and I’m not sure why. I’ve never felt this way about anything that isn’t a snack before.”

“Idiot,” Aomine tells him over lunch the next day, through a mouthful of curry udon. “You don’t want to eat him, you want to bone him.”

“Even though he looks so tasty?” 

Swallowing, Aomine tilts his head to one side. “Just to clarify,” he says, “you’re not thinking about sticking him in a pot and boiling him alive or anything, are you?”

“Of course not.” Murasakibara is offended by the implication. “I think about normal stuff, like licking him and biting him, and maybe even sucking him.”

“Ugh, TMI.” Aomine goes back to his udon. “But yeah, you definitely need to get some. All that tension isn’t good for you, you know?”

Murasakibara isn’t so sure, but he continues to watch Kuroko from a distance. Suddenly, little things seem much more noticeable to him, like how his eyes are drawn to the beads of sweat that roll down his face when Akashi makes them run laps, or how pale and delicate his wrists are when they’re not being covered by black bands. 

It’s almost like Kuroko is tempting him to have a taste, and Murasakibara has a hard time holding himself back. The sweet things he usually eats don’t seem as enjoyable as they once were. Chocolate, cupcakes, lollipops... They’re so bland and uninspiring.

He can’t resist any longer when he heads to his classroom during break and finds Kuroko at his desk, reading a book. There’s no one else around, which is why Murasakibara forgets about self-restraint. Kuroko is leaning forward slightly, leaving the back of his neck exposed, so Murasakibara bends down to drag his tongue along it.

He expects Kuroko to taste of something sweeter, possibly the vanilla shakes he loves, but he doesn’t taste of anything, just soap and skin, although it doesn’t leave Murasakibara as disappointed as he ought to be.

“What on earth are you doing?” demands Kuroko, eyes wide. 

Murasakibara states the obvious. “Licking you.”

“I understood that part.” Clearing his throat, Kuroko rephrases the question. “What I meant was, why?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Murasakibara replies, “Because I want to bone you, or so Mine-chin says. I don’t really get it myself. What do you think, Kuro-chin?”

“To be honest,” Kuroko admits, “I think you’re behaving very strangely.”

Murasakibara doesn’t feel any different, but he supposed Kuroko has a point, since as far as he’s aware, human beings tend not to go around randomly licking each other. Dogs do, though. And cats. And most other animals. Murasakibara wonders why it’s okay for them and not for people. Why do they even do it? Because they taste nice? No, that can’t be it. There’s fur in the way. Humans don’t have fur, only body hair, but they still don’t lick each other, at least not in public. 

That’s when it occurs to Murasakibara that kissing, however, is considered acceptable, so he presses his mouth to Kuroko’s, and it’s warm and soft, and tastes like apple juice. It feels good too, so Murasakibara does it again, sucking at Kuroko’s lower lip and running his tongue over it, and he gives a parting nip before he releases it.

Kuroko looks slightly dazed, and more than a little confused, but it’s cute, and because Murasakibara likes cute things, it endears Kuroko to him even more.

Placing a candy bar on top of Kuroko’s head to express his gratitude, Murasakibara gives him a wave before heading off to replenish his diminishing supply of snacks, suddenly starving. When he glances back over his shoulder, Kuroko is still staring into space, but then he snaps out of it, blushing just a tiny bit, and removes the candy from his head, peeling back the wrapper and taking a bite.


	5. Theme #5: First time

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #5: First time

~~

Every relationship has its problems, and Murasakibara has learned that the one he shares with Kuroko is no different, but their problem is very specific, and it’s to do with sex.

It’s only natural, since Murasakibara is so huge and Kuroko is so tiny, that there would be certain difficulties, although Kuroko, at least, seems determined to overcome them, no matter what.

He doesn’t listen to Murasakibara, not at first, because he’s stubborn and he hates to lose, so Murasakibara lets him do what he wants, lets him find out what his own limitations are, and simply lies on his back, hands on Kuroko’s hips, just holding them, brushing his thumbs over Kuroko’s skin.

Kuroko’s expression is one of fierce concentration, teeth clenched tight, palms braced against Murasakibara’s chest for balance as he guides the first couple inches of Murasakibara’s cock into his ass, but even that’s bordering on too much for him, the way his nostrils flare and his eyes screw shut, the way it brings the sweat out on his forehead, makes his breathing quicken uncomfortably.

Licking his lower lip, he pauses for a moment, desperately trying to adjust, but he’s fighting it almost as hard as he’s trying to give into it, and the look on his face is frustrated, like he’s annoyed with himself for not being able to do more, that things aren’t going the way he wants, so he gets impatient, pushing himself down further, and then he stops again, because he has to this time, unable to hide the way he winces.

It’s enough, Murasakibara decides, and he says, voice soft, “Kuro-chin, stop. I’m hurting you.”

But Kuroko shakes his head, refusing to surrender so easily. “I’m all right. I can do this.”

He can’t, not really. He just won’t admit it.

Sighing, Murasakibara can only wait and watch. “Don’t force yourself, okay?”

“I won’t,” Kuroko says.

It’s a lie, and they both know it.

Murasakibara doesn’t want to do this if it isn’t making Kuroko feel good, and he can’t really enjoy it either when Kuroko is so obviously in pain, but he keeps pushing, keeps going, thighs trembling, tiny whimpers escaping his throat as he takes Murasakibara in deeper.

That’s when Murasakibara’s fingers tighten, ready to lift Kuroko up and off him whether he likes it or not, when Kuroko stops once more, with Murasakibara not even halfway inside him, and lowers his head, finally admitting defeat.

“I can’t,” he pants, shoulders slumping, and it makes Murasakibara’s heart ache to see him like this. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Murasakibara-kun.”

“Shh.” Pulling out, Murasakibara sits up, holding him close, rubbing his back, and Kuroko shivers in his arms, hiding his face against Murasakibara’s shoulder. “Don’t worry.”

“I’m sorry.” Kuroko keeps saying it, like he’s blaming himself, so Murasakibara kisses him, strokes his hair, shows him that he’s not angry, he’s not upset, and that he definitely doesn’t think of it as Kuroko’s fault.

“Silly Kuro-chin.” Pressing one last kiss to his cheek, Murasakibara turns him around so that Kuroko’s back is against his chest. “Let’s do it this way instead.” He slides his cock between Kuroko’s thighs, pushing them together, trapping it in place, and gives a little thrust. “Like this, okay?”

He does it again, gently rocking his hips once, twice, until Kuroko catches on and starts to move with him, squeezing his thighs tighter, and Murasakibara reaches around him to jerk him off in time to his thrusts. The noises Kuroko makes now are much more pleasured, and Murasakibara smiles.

“It is good?” he asks.

“Yes.” Kuroko moans, placing a hand over Murasakibara’s, both of them tugging at his cock, together, and it’s so small in comparison, so delicate, but Murasakibara knows how much strength it contains, how much it supports their whole team.

Kuroko’s tenacity, however, is one thing about him that will never change, and even afterwards, when they lie tangled in the sheets, his resolve hasn’t faded in the slightest, as he stares Murasakibara right in the eye, and it’s with absolute certainty when he promises, “Next time will be better.”

“There’s no need to rush,” Murasakibara says, but once again, Kuroko refuses to listen to him.


	6. Theme #8: Hurt/comfort

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #8: Hurt/comfort

~~

The gym is silent and empty, which is to be expected, Kuroko thinks, as the rest of the team has already left, leaving him alone with his thoughts. He knows he could – and probably should – discuss them with someone else, but he won’t. They’re too trivial, and he doesn’t want to be a bother, so he keeps them to himself.

It hasn’t been that long since he joined the first string, only a few months, and there are times when he still doubts his own ability to contribute. He’s not an all-rounder like Kise, who can take whatever people throw at him, in spite of being a novice, nor is he a powerhouse like Murasakibara, who can handle defence as offence. 

No matter how much image training he does, it’s no help. As much as he wants to shoot, he can’t. His hand-eye coordination should be perfect, but it makes no different. No matter how many times he throws the ball, it simply refuses to go through the hoop.

That’s how Murasakibara finds him, staring wistfully at it, as he ambles into the gym, and he’s so busy rifling through his bag of snacks that he almost walks right into Kuroko. 

“There you are,” he says. “We were wondering where you’d disappeared to. Kise-chin was crying about having been dumped again.”

Kuroko gives a bow of apology. “I’m sorry for making you worry.”

“No problem. I only came back because I forgot my jersey.” It’s exactly where Murasakibara has left it, and Kuroko hands the item over to him. Murasakibara nods in thanks, but he’s looking at Kuroko like he’s wondering what he’s doing here all on his own. “Something wrong?”

Kuroko is about to deny it and allow Murasakibara to go on his way, but he doesn’t seem to be in any hurry (he never is, unless Akashi is lighting a fire under his butt), and his expression is genuinely curious. “I was wondering,” Kuroko begins, because there’s nothing for him to lose by divulging the information, “if there’ll ever be a day when I get tall enough to dunk.”

Murasakibara stares at the ball in Kuroko’s hands, and then at the hoop. “It’s pretty high up,” he agrees, “so you probably won’t be reaching it for a while.” Tilting his head, he adds, “But why a dunk? Wouldn’t it be better for you to shoot three pointers like Mido-chin?”

It’s a valid point, and perfectly logical. “Because,” Kuroko says, a small smile curving his lips, “dunks are cool. At least, that’s what I always find myself thinking whenever I see Aomine-kun do one.”

Looking thoughtful for a second, Murasakibara suddenly brightens. “Kuro-chin, come here.” He crouches down, beckoning for Kuroko to climb onto his shoulders, and Kuroko does, slightly dubious, but Murasakibara is grinning when he returns to a standing position. “Ta-da! You just grew.”

No, Kuroko wants to say, that’s not what I meant, but he realises that Murasakibara is trying to cheer him up, to help make him happy, so he holds on with one hand as Murasakibara jogs over to the hoop and slams the ball through it with the other. 

“See?” Murasakibara pats him on the knee. “I bet you feel awesome right now.”

If Kuroko chose to be honest, he’d tell Murasakibara that he feels ridiculous, but he’s more sensitive to the feelings of others to do such a thing, and besides, he appreciates what Murasakibara is doing for him, which is why he shows his gratitude as soon as he feet touch the ground again.

“Thank you very much for allowing me to have this experience.”

“Kuro-chin, you’re so formal,” Murasakibara tells him. “But,” he adds, turning contemplative once more, “I can’t imagine what it’d be like if you ended up being as tall as me. Actually, it’d be kind of scary.”

“You never know,” says Kuroko, competitive as always, “I might catch up to you in height eventually.”

Murasakibara reaches inside his bag, taking out a candy bar and holds it out to him. “In that case, you should eat more sweets. Sugar will make you grow big and strong.”

Kuroko is pretty sure it will only lead to tooth decay, but he accepts the offering anyway. “Thank you for your kindness, Murasakibara-kun.”

“Silly Kuro-chin, just say ‘thanks’ like a normal person, and leave it at that.” Murasakibara pauses. “Or, you could act like Mido-chin and be all, ‘It’s not like I’m grateful or anything, so don’t go getting the wrong idea!’”

“That was a rather good impression.”

“I can do others, too.” Murasakibara clears his throat. “KUROKOCCHI, YEAH~”

Kuroko claps his hands. “That sounded just like Kise-kun, especially with the way you rolled your tongue.”

“Also,” Murasakibara continues, warming to their little game, “I can imitate Aka-chin.”

Kuroko isn’t sure he should, because that would be like summoning the devil, but Murasakibara is already crossing his arms over his chest, expression one of extreme superiority, copying Akashi’s signature pose perfectly, and he’s about to open his mouth when a voice comes from behind, making them both jump.

“You two seem to be having fun.”

The real Akashi has managed to appear without being noticed, and he doesn’t look too pleased at what he’s found (leaving Kuroko vaguely disappointed when he checks the floor and doesn’t see a pentangle or magic circle from which Akashi could have emerged from).

“We can explain,” he and Murasakibara say in unison, sounding equally guilty, and Akashi nods grimly in a ‘well, you’d better’ kind of way.


	7. Theme #7: Humour

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #7: Humour

~~

When the cat’s away, the mice will play, or do the idiom goes, and that’s how it is at the basketball club when Akashi is absent for a meeting. Murasakibara needs no excuse to slack off, and the first thing he does is tear open a family sized bag of potato chips (which Kuroko is sure he’ll polish off all on his own, without needing to share them with anyone, as the makers intended). Aomine gets out his newest porn magazine, leering appreciatively at the contents, while Kise battles a constant stream of fan girl spam on his cell phone.

“Akashi won’t be pleased to find out you’ve been skipping out on practise,” Midorima warns, the only one who actually bothers doing what he’s supposed to.

“And how’s he going to find out?” says Aomine, arching an eyebrow. “Will you tattle on us to dad like the goody two shoes mom that you are?”

Midorima’s glasses glint dangerously. “What did you just call me?”

“I like the sound of that,” says Kise. “Mommy Midorimacchi.”

Aomine doubles over with laughter at Midorima’s murderous expression, and Kuroko wonders if he ought to step in calm things down, but then decides against it when Midorima throws a basketball at Aomine’s face.

“Get your ass up here, Kise,” growls Aomine, rubbing his nose (which isn’t broken, Kuroko notes, but will probably be bruised and swollen this time tomorrow). “We’re taking this bastard down.”

“Two against one is unfair, you cowards!” Midorima says, but Kise is already getting to his feet, rubbing his hands together in anticipation. 

“If you don’t like it,” Aomine jibes, sounding very much like he’s forgotten that he’s graduated from grade school and is now in junior high, “then try fighting back, *mom*.”

“What he said,” Kise chimes, jerking a thumb in Aomine’s direction, and then, just to piss Midorima off even more, “*mom*.”

“Stand right there,” Midorima grits out, fists clenched so tight, it’s a wonder he isn’t drawing blood from his palms, “while I kill you.”

But Aomine and Kise don’t, of course, so Midorima is forced to chase after them, the sound of their yells and laughter echoing around the gym. Kuroko sits down beside Murasakibara to watch, humbly refusing his offer of a chip.

“Must be nice to have so much energy,” Murasakibara comments.

“It’s true what they say,” Kuroko agrees. “Youth is wasted on the young.”

“We sound like old men.”

“I feel like one when I look at those three running around together.”

Kuroko much prefers this, being with Murasakibara in relative peace and quiet. Besides, there’s no way he’d be able to keep pace with the others. He would have been forced to take a break after less than five minutes.

The only thing more impressive than Midorima’s ability to thunder after Aomine and Kise while bellowing out death threats at the same time is how quickly Murasakibara empties his bag of chips. There’s nothing for him to worry about, however, since he always keeps his supply of snacks nearby, but instead of following up his salty starter with something sweet, he takes out a pair of scrunchies and ties his hair into pigtails.

“Do I look cute?” he asks, prodding Kuroko’s shoulder for attention.

Kuroko attempts to work out an appropriate response inside his head, wondering how it would be possible to reply honestly but without hurting Murasakibara’s feelings in the process.

“I think,” says Kuroko, “you would look much cooler with a ponytail.”

Thankfully, Murasakibara is happy to accept the carefully worded compliment. “You know,” he says, sounding thoughtful, “you should try growing your hair out, Kuro-chin.”

“Really?” Kuroko reaches up to tug his bangs. “I prefer it short, to be honest. Long hair would probably get in the way.”

Pulling out one scrunchie, Murasakibara gathers what he can of Kuroko’s bangs and ties them together, smile proudly at his handiwork. “You look like a pineapple!” Then his stomach gives a loud grumble, expression turning to one of hunger. “More importantly, you look tasty.”

Kuroko is about to say wait, but Murasakibara has already started to gnaw on him, leaving his exposed forehead sticky with drool. 

Pausing in his torment of Midorima (and also to catch his breath), Aomine notices them with a confused frown. “What the heck are you two doing?”

Midorima, who is usually a stickler for rules and regulations, seizes the opportunity to fight dirty with both hands, tackling Aomine in his moment of defencelessness with a powerful headbutt. Kise’s reactions are as quick as ever, and he whips out his cell phone just in time to snap a picture of Midorima’s Zinedine Zidane impression, but before he can get a photo of Kuroko and Murasakibara, the door to the gym opens and Akashi steps inside.

Aomine is the one who best sums up the situation, and he voices what’s on all their minds when they see the look on Akashi’s face.

“Well shit.”


	8. Theme #4: Genderswitch

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #4: Genderswitch

~~

The soft sniffling noise Kuroko hears when she answers her cell phone is her first cause for her concern, but then the sound of Murasakibara’s voice comes afterwards, distraught.

“Kuro-chin, I’m in big trouble. I need your help.”

Now feeling very worried indeed, Kuroko rushes immediately to where Murasakibara lives, pressing the doorbell once to announce her arrival, and then again where there’s no answer. Just when Kuroko is contemplating whether to call the police or let herself inside, the door finally opens, revealing a yawning Murasakibara.

“’Morning, Kuro-chin,” she greets sleepily.

“It’s almost one o’ clock in the afternoon,” Kuroko corrects, noting that Murasakibara is looking awfully calm to say how upset she seemed over the phone earlier. “But more importantly, what’s the matter?”

Murasakibara blinks, like she’s trying to remember, and then smiles, which is not the kind of expression Kuroko is expecting to see at all. “Oh, that. I looked at the date on my calendar about half an hour ago and realised that we’re due back at school tomorrow.”

“And?” Kuroko prompts.

“And, um, I kind of haven’t done my homework.”

Kuroko supposes she should have known, but Murasakibara has already latched onto her before she can turn on her heel and march off.

“Please, Kuro-chin, I’m begging you! I’ll do anything you want, I promise!”

This time, Murasakibara really does look close to tears, and because Kuroko has always had a soft spot for sad and pitiful things, she finds herself giving in to those pleading eyes.

“Alright,” she relents. “I’ll help.”

Murasakibara squeezes her tighter, dragging Kuroko inside the house and slamming the door behind them in case she decides to change her mind and escape, telling Kuroko to wait upstairs in her room while she goes to the kitchen to find some snacks.

When she returns, she’s carrying a tray laden with beam jam jelly and orange juice, which Kuroko politely declines, but since that means there’ll be more for Murasakibara, she’s hardly about to force her into eating anything.

“So,” says Kuroko, once Murasakibara has made herself comfortable, “what have you actually been doing over Golden Week?”

“Well,” Murasakibara begins, “on the first day of break, I ate my breakfast and had a nap. Then after eating my lunch, I took another nap. Then I ate dinner, which I followed up with snacks, and then I went to sleep. Come to think of it,” she continues, scratching her head, “that’s pretty much all I’ve done, every single day.”

“Did you even leave the house at any point?”

Frowning, Murasakibara searches her memory of the past seven days, but only succeeds in drawing a blank.

“How on earth do you manage to stay so slim if all you do is eat and sleep?” Kuroko wonders, because as far as she knows, most normal women would do the opposite and gain weight, but not Murasakibara for some reason.

“I guess,” says Murasakibara, “it’s what helps me grow. Maybe that’s the reason you’re so tiny, because you don’t do much of either.”

Not wanting to continue the current topic any longer, Kuroko clears the table. “For starters, you need to set the mood for studying by making yourself presentable. That means getting dressed properly, washing your face and doing your hair.”

Murasakibara seems reluctant to even move, let alone change her clothing, but she looks like a total slob in her frayed shorts and sauce-stained tank top. She hasn’t even bothered to put on a bra. Murasakibara’s breasts are distracting enough at the best of times, and without the necessary support they so sorely require, they’re just left to sway and jiggle about in a way that keeps drawing Kuroko’s gaze to them like a magnet.

It takes more than ten minutes simply for Murasakibara to get up and walk over to her chest of drawers, and Kuroko wonders suddenly if she has any clean clothes left, because if she hasn’t done her homework, then she definitely won’t have done the laundry. Thankfully, Murasakibara finds a tee shirt and a pair of track pants, but instead of going to the bathroom to change, as Kuroko or most other people would, she merely pulls off the tank top and tosses it aside, uncaring of the fact that her guest is right there in front of her.

“Please don’t strip so casually,” Kuroko chokes out, covering her eyes out of respect. “At least turn your back first.”

“Eh?” Murasakibara appears not to care about being naked from the waist up. “But we do this in the locker room at school all the time. Besides, we’re both girls. What’s the big deal?”

But Kuroko keeps her face shielded until she’s done, although Murasakibara finds it funny that she’s being so considerate. With her face scrubbed and her hair tied back neatly (or as neatly as it can be, seeing how it badly looks in need of a wash), Murasakibara is ready for the hell students all over the world call leaving schoolwork until the last minute.

There’s a lot of it, too, and because Kuroko hasn’t brought her own homework with her (which of course, she completed in a timely and punctual manner, at the beginning of the holidays), Murasakibara can’t copy her answers, so they have to go through everything together, with Kuroko teaching Murasakibara what she doesn’t know (which is, depressingly, a lot).

It certainly doesn’t help that Murasakibara has a short attention span. She manages to be studious and attentive for all of fifteen minutes before she starts getting fed up.

“Is it snack time yet?” she asks, hopeful.

“Not yet,” Kuroko replies.

And then, ten minutes later.

“How about now?”

“Please be more patient. We’ve only done one page of your History assignment.”

It’s like tutoring a small child, especially when Murasakibara goes from pestering, to whining, to sulking when Kuroko continually refuses her requests.

The clock reads 3:30 p.m. when Murasakibara’s eyelids begin drooping, and Kuroko has to poke her awake with the blunt end of a pencil.

“There’s no time for naps, so don’t close your eyes.”

Stifling a yawn, Murasakibara tries to look more alert. “I can’t help it. All these numbers are making me sleepy.”

Kuroko can sort of understand, since Math has never been one of her favourite subjects either, but there are another eight pages for them to get through before they can move onto English.

Glancing at the stack of textbooks, Murasakibara sighs dejectedly. “I think you might be sleeping over at my place, Kuro-chin.”

“I don’t have a problem with that,” Kuroko says, “but I’m afraid you won’t be getting much sleep tonight, Murasakibara-san.”

Murasakibara flutters her eyelashes coyly. “Oh, Kuro-chin, you pervert.”

“You know what I meant.”

“Speaking of which,” Murasakibara continues, suddenly perking up, “I wonder how Kise-chin is doing?”

Kuroko supposes a ten-minute break should be okay, so she allows Murasakibara to send Kise a text message. A response arrives shortly afterwards, and Murasakibara is surprised by its contents.

“She says everything is a-okay, because she copied all of Mido-chin’s homework already.” Murasakibara crosses her arms over her ample chest, frowning in suspicion. “She definitely must have bribed her.”

Kuroko gives a solemn nod of agreement. “Definitely.”

“So out of the idiot trio, that just leaves Mine-chin.”

It’s a wonder Kuroko hasn’t received a call similar to Murasakibara’s yet from Aomine, but then again, she does have Momoi on her side, or at least that usually tends to be the case, but when Murasakibara sends a text to find out, it turns out that Aomine is in even more trouble than she is.

‘SHIT, WE HAD HOMEWORK?’ is Aomine’s startled response, followed by the rather ineloquent (but typically blunt), ‘SHITSHITSHITSHIT.’

They don’t hear anything else for a while after that, probably because she’s frantically texting Momoi for help, but then Murasakibara’s phone buzzes again, this time with an incoming call.

“He wouldn’t let me copy, the bastard!” Aomine wails. “He told me I’m getting what I deserve for leaving things this late and to learn some responsibility. What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

“You can’t go to Kuro-chin,” says Murasakibara, smugly, “because I have her on my side.”

“Cheater!” Aomine yells down the phone. “Tetsu is my best friend, so I should get first dibs!”

Murasakibara laughs, enjoying the sound of Aomine’s suffering, and Aomine swears back at her, so because this could go on for quite a while, Kuroko tugs Murasakibara’s sleeve for attention.

“Is there anyone else who could help?”

Shrugging, Murasakibara says, “Dunno. All the smart people have been taken, since you’re helping me and Mido-chin has been bribed by Kise-chin. Except,” she adds, thoughtful, “for Aka-chin.” Aomine goes silent, and Kuroko can’t help feeling sorry for her. “Hold on a second, I’ll send her a text.”

Hanging up to the sound of Aomine’s terrified protests, Murasakibara sends Akashi a message. Akashi’s reply is prompt and succinct, as usual, and Kuroko shudders when she reads it over Murasakibara’s shoulder.

“Wow.” Murasakibara raises her eyebrows. “I guess that means Mine-chin won’t be getting any sleep, either.”

Or possibly ever, Kuroko thinks privately, because she’ll no doubt be having nightmares for the rest of her middle school life after spending the night alone together with Akashi.

“I wonder what Aka-chin will want in return?” Murasakibara continues. “She never gives her time for free, after all. I bet the next time we see Mine-chin, she’ll no longer be a virgin.”


	9. Theme #3: Crack

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #3: Crack

~~

“It’s cold,” Murasakibara complains, shivering against the chill of the winter wind.

“It certainly is,” Kuroko agrees. “More importantly, your nose is running, so I would appreciate you wiping it, if that’s alright.”

Sniffling loudly, Murasakibara looks torn. “I really want to,” he says, “but that would mean taking out a tissue, and since the tissues are in my pocket, the place where my hands are trying to find warmth, I kind of don’t want to remove them.” 

“I suppose it can’t be helped.” Kuroko is the only one wearing gloves, after all, and Murasakibara, who has forgotten his (where, he can’t remember), has none, so he’s probably feeling the cold more than Kuroko.

Getting a tissue out for Murasakibara, he holds it to his nose and Murasakibara blows into it, making Kuroko feel a bit like one of the mothers he sees picking up their children from kindergarten.

Brightening suddenly, Murasakibara smiles. “I just had a great idea!” He unzips his coat, and beckons Kuroko to step into the open space it presents. “Hurry up, Kuro-chin, it’s freezing.”

Doing as Murasakibara asks would leave them looking foolish, Kuroko thinks, who would really rather avoid such public embarrassment, but then again, sharing body heat is an excellent way of keeping warm, and since it really is bracing, it doesn’t take him long to reach a decision.

Murasakibara’s coat is big enough to fit both of them, although it’s still a bit of a squeeze, and Kuroko draws the zipper to his chin. He can feel the warmth of Murasakibara’s front through his back, and it’s actually sort of nice.

“Kuro-chin, you’re all toasty.” Murasakibara rests his chin on the top of Kuroko’s head, sighing blissfully. “Forget about going to school, can we just stay here like this for the rest of the day?”

“I’m afraid not,” Kuroko replies, “which is why we should probably get a move on to avoid being late.”

But even such a simple task as walking, they soon find out, is made more difficult by becoming a pair of human body warmers. They keep stepping on, and bumping into, each other, and that only serves to attract even more curious stares from other students passing by.

“We won’t be going anywhere at this rate,” Murasakibara announces, but he doesn’t sound too upset. 

“In that case,” says Kuroko, thoughtfully, “maybe we should treat this like a three-legged race? It would also be a good exercise in matching each other’s rhythm, so I’m sure Akashi-kun will approve.”

He’s just said the magic words, and they spur Murasakibara into action.

“Okay, we’ll start off on the right foot, and go with the ‘one-two’ method.”

On the count of three, they move forward, right foot first, and then the left, both of them chanting “one-two, one-two” with every step. It actually seems to work, at least until Murasakibara opens his mouth.

“You know,” he begins, “we kind of look like those penguins, the ones where the little chick has to sit on the parent penguin’s feet because the ground is so cold? Then again,” he adds, “we also probably look like a mommy and a baby kangaroo together.”

“That’s nice,” says Kuroko absently, the way all parents answer their children when they’re not really listening to what they’re saying. “Keep walking, Murasakibara-kun.”

“’Kay.”

They resume their “one-two, one-two” pace, and they get a little further this time before Murasakibara stops abruptly again.

“I just realised,” he says, “that having sex would make us even warmer.”

“I think it might surprise a few people, though,” Kuroko points out, not taking Murasakibara seriously, because nobody really does when he opens his mouth to speak.

“I don’t mean right here,” Murasakibara corrects. “We should totally skip homeroom and do it in the gym or something.”

“But we’ll be warm when we get to school,” Kuroko points out, “so there won’t be any need for sex.”

“Oh.” Murasakibara sounds disappointed. “Then how am I supposed to take care of this?” He puts his hands on Kuroko’s hips, pulling him back until he feels the telltale sign of an erection. “Sorry. I kind of got hard.”

Kuroko blushes, as most people would in his situation. “Can it wait until we get to the bathroom?”

Murasakibara brightens. “Does that mean you’ll help me?”

“Um.” Kuroko doesn’t think he needs any help, but Murasakibara looks so hopeful and expectant, it’s not easy to flat-out refuse. “I’ll consider it.”


	10. Theme #1: Angst

Written for the microfic meme  
Theme #1: Angst

~~

It all starts when Murasakibara wakes up late one morning. With no time for a proper breakfast, he has to make do with toast, which isn’t nearly as filling or satisfying as what he’d prefer (and usually involves at least three bowls of rice, not including the side dishes). 

The first slice gets burnt. He drops the second, once he’s finished spreading a thick layer of butter over it, onto the floor, and of course, it lands buttered side down, so he can’t apply the three second rule by picking it up, brushing it off and sticking it into his mouth.

Stomach grumbling in protest for being denied its first, and most important, meal of the day, Murasakibara is forced to leave the house without having eaten anything at all. Glancing at his watch, he decides there’s just enough time to call in at a nearby convenience store, but he’s unable to browse the shelves of snacks at his leisure, because he has less than ten minutes to be at school.

Grabbing an item at random (a super sized bag of popcorn), Murasakibara stands in line to be served, but the queue is long, and it takes longer than he would like to reach the counter.

Tossing a bunch of coins in the cashier’s direction, Murasakibara sprints out of the door. He knows it’s probably not a good idea to open the bag while running at the simultaneously (and he’s never liked doing two things at once, anyway), but there’s no other choice.

It’s like a repeat of the toast tragedy when he first struggles to tear the top of the bag, so he turns it upside down and tries opening it from the bottom. He pulls too hard, however, and the bag bursts open, sending the contents flying. Kernels of popcorn scatter all over the ground, and it’s not just a waste of money (which Murasakibara doesn’t have very much of, seeing as the month is almost at an end and he won’t be getting his allowance for at least another few days), it’s a waste of precious food.

Because Murasakibara cares about the environment, but also because an old lady across the street is giving him the evil eye, he bends down to pick up the mess he’s made. 

Somehow, he manages to reach his desk just as the bell for homeroom chimes, and he slumps over it in exhaustion, because he’s been running on empty all morning, and he finds moving around tedious enough to start with, even when he has a full stomach.

He sleeps through his first two classes, which really isn’t his fault, because he’s used up a lot of energy by simply getting to school, but his teacher doesn’t seem too pleased by the sound of his snores, and they’re also not impressed when he asks to go to the nurse’s office so he can lie down properly in one of the sick beds, as he’s sure they’d be much more comfortable.

Kise is absent with a cold, and since there’s no one else in his class who Murasakibara really knows or talks to, nobody wakes him up once dinner break arrives. When he finally comes round, all the sandwiches have been sold out. 

Now feeling almost faint with hunger, Murasakibara staggers mournfully down the corridor, with no particular destination in mind, attracting even more attention than usual by the way that he keeps almost walking into walls, but he’s too depressed to notice or care.

Just when he’s on the verge of rooting through trashcans on the hope of finding someone’s discarded lunch, there’s a small tug at Murasakibara’s sleeve, and he looks down to find Kuroko staring up at him in concern.

“Is something wrong, Murasakibara-kun?”

Lower lip quivering, Murasakibara launches himself at Kuroko, and it’s a wonder Kuroko manages to remain upright instead of being squashed flat under the additional weight. “Kuro-chin, I think I’ve been cursed!”

“What makes you say that?” asks Kuroko, struggling to breathe while he’s being squeezed to within an inch of his life.

“I’m having a really bad day. Everything keeps going wrong. What should I do to make it better?”

Murasakibara’s stomach grumbles again, even louder than before, and Kuroko’s expression turns from worried to understanding.

“It’s probably not much,” he says, “but you can eat what’s left of my boxed lunch if you like.”

Eyes watering with happiness, Murasakibara hugs Kuroko tighter to express his gratitude, only stopping when he notices Kuroko’s face starting to go blue. “Thanks, Kuro-chin, you’re the best.”

He knows Kuroko is a light eater, so it’s not surprising to find that he hasn’t eaten even half of the boxed lunch he’s brought. Murasakibara would scold him for not putting enough nutrients into his body, but he’s too busy practically inhaling the food with the intensity of a vacuum cleaner on full power.

“It might be wise for you to swallow,” Kuroko suggests, mildly disturbed by Murasakibara’s lack of dining etiquette. “And chew. And maybe–”

But whatever else he’s about to add remains unsaid when Murasakibara raises the box to his lips, tipping his head back to make sure he doesn’t miss any last morsels, no matter how miniscule. 

“Sorry,” he mumbles, mouth full. “What were you saying?”

Kuroko shakes his head. “It’s not important now.” He sighs, brushing a thumb over Murasakibara’s cheek. “Honestly, you’ve got crumbs all over your face.”

Murasakibara catches Kuroko’s wrist and slips the ring of his lips down onto Kuroko’s thumb so he can suck away the tiny traces of food, licking a warm, wet stripe along his skin when he lifts his mouth up and off.

It makes Kuroko go an interesting shade of red, so Murasakibara smiles and brings his mouth to Kuroko’s, not kissing him, but close enough to, if Kuroko wants him to, and says, softly, breath warm and moist against Kuroko’s lips, “Thanks for the meal.”


End file.
